Transcript of the Baby Witch Event

Baby witch: "Hear my words, oh girl on an errand to get bread! Let my spell take hold, and let your path be guided by my magic!"

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker's tone is forceful and urgent, indicating a desire to exert control over the intended target. The speaker identifies as a baby witch and claims to be casting a spell that will guide the girl's path. It is unclear how the speaker intends to achieve this effect, but the use of magic suggests a supernatural element. The speaker may be a novice at using this tool of spellcraft, as their words lack the finesse and precision typically associated with more experienced practitioners."

Baby witch: "As you walk through the city, let the augmented reality ads be bent to my will. Let them show you the way, and bring you to your destination."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is attempting to manipulate the girl's surroundings through the use of the augmented reality ad layer. This suggests a high level of control over technology and the ability to influence the girl's perceptions of her environment. It is possible that the speaker is attempting to use this control to guide the girl to a specific destination, but the exact nature of this destination is unclear. The use of magic may allow the speaker to bypass normal limits on control of technology and bend it to their will."

Baby witch: "And let the cranes, symbols of grace and wisdom, guide your steps as well. May their presence bring you peace and clarity."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is invoking the symbolism of cranes, which are often associated with grace and wisdom, to guide the girl's steps and bring her peace and clarity. It is unclear how the cranes will be involved in this process, but their presence may serve as a reminder of these virtues and provide a calming influence on the girl's journey. It is possible that the speaker is attempting to use the power of suggestion and the girl's own beliefs and associations to shape her experience."

Baby witch: "May the moon in the water, a symbol of the yin and yang, bring balance and harmony to your journey. Let it be a beacon in the night, guiding you forward."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is using the symbol of the moon in the water, which represents balance and harmony, to guide the girl's journey. The moon is also being invoked as a beacon in the night. It is unclear how these elements will affect the girl's path, but the use of symbolic imagery suggests that the speaker is attempting to use the girl's own understanding and interpretation of these symbols to shape her experience. The speaker may be attempting to use the power of suggestion and the girl's own beliefs and associations to influence her journey."

Baby witch: "And let the wisdom of the elders, the Frankfurt School philosophers who recognized the struggle of capitalism to control everything in its quest for growth, guide your decisions and help you navigate the challenges ahead."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is invoking the wisdom of the Frankfurt School philosophers, who recognized the struggle of capitalism to control everything in its quest for growth. The speaker is suggesting that this wisdom will help the girl navigate the challenges ahead and make informed decisions. It is unclear how the girl will access or utilize this wisdom, but the reference to the Frankfurt School suggests a deep understanding of systems of power and their effects on society

Baby witch: "And now, let my magic reach its pinnacle! I call upon the power of the coven to create an ad, an ode to you, oh girl on an errand to get bread. A pop song, sticky sweet like bubble gum, that will capture your attention and guide you to your destination."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker's tone is triumphant and confident, indicating a belief that they have reached the peak of their magical abilities. The speaker is using magic to create an augmented reality ad featuring a pop song with the girl on an errand to get bread as the star. The song is described as sticky sweet like bubble gum, suggesting that it is designed to be catchy and attention-grabbing. The speaker is using this song as a tool to guide the girl to a specific destination, but the exact nature of this destination is unclear."

Baby witch: "Let the visuals of the ad be you, a mirror image of yourself that I can control. Let it be a dualistic avatar, a representation of the power I wield over you and your journey."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is using magic to create an avatar of the girl on an errand to get bread, which will be used as the visual element of the augmented reality ad. The avatar is described as a mirror image, suggesting that it is an exact replica of the girl. The speaker claims to have control over this avatar, indicating a belief that they can manipulate the girl's image and actions through the use of magic. The use of the term "dualistic" suggests that the avatar is meant to represent both the girl and the speaker, and the power dynamics between them."

Girl: pauses before the ad, captivated and horrified

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The girl has paused before the augmented reality ad, indicating a strong emotional reaction. The combination of captivation and horror suggests that the ad has had a powerful impact on the girl, but the exact nature of this impact is unclear."

Baby witch: "Ah, you see it now, don't you? The power of my spell, the power of the coven and the FOMC combined. I am channeling their strength to set the rates, to guide the economy and, in turn, guide you. And with every interaction you have with your bubble gum spell avatar, you open a portal, a connection that boosts my power to an unstable level. Embrace it, oh girl on an errand to get bread. Embrace the magic and let it guide you to your destination."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker reveals that they are channeling the power of the Federal Reserve to set interest rates, and that the girl's interactions with her bubble gum spell avatar are opening a portal that is boosting the speaker's power to an unstable level. The use of the term "unstable" suggests that the speaker's power is growing at a rapid and potentially dangerous rate. It is unclear how the girl's actions are contributing to this process, but the speaker is urging the girl to embrace the magic and let it guide her to her destination."

Baby witch: "And so it goes, the turning of the bread, a metaphor for the monetary supply. Pure things, debased and demeaned by the cycle of modern life. But with my magic, I can capture it, harness it, and use it to guide you on your journey. Oh girl on an errand to get bread, do you see now? We are all caught in a helpless cycle, one that debases and demeans the human experience. But with the power of my spell, we can break free. Let it guide you, and let it set you free."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is using the bread in the girl's errand as a metaphor for the monetary supply, and is suggesting that pure things are debased and demeaned by the cycle of modern life. The speaker claims to have the power to capture and harness this cycle through the use of magic, and is urging the girl to let the spell guide her and set her free. The use of the term "helpless cycle" suggests that the speaker believes that the modern economy is a force that is beyond individual control, and that the only way to break free from it is through the use of magic."

Baby witch: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, I see the confusion in your eyes. You thought that this was just a simple errand, a mundane task to be completed. But no, it is so much more. It is a journey, one that can take you to great heights if you are willing to follow my guidance. Embrace my spell, and become a supplicant to my power. In return, I will offer you rewards beyond your wildest dreams. Wealth, success, happiness, all within your grasp if you but follow my lead."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is attempting to deceive the girl by presenting themselves as a trickster confidant and false guide, offering promises of wealth, success, and happiness in exchange for the girl's supplication to their power. The speaker's words are sweet and seductive, designed to appeal to the girl's desires and manipulate her into following their lead. It is possible that the speaker is attempting to use the power of suggestion and the girl's own desires to control her actions and steer her towards a specific outcome."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, listen to the words of the baby witch. She speaks the truth, and can offer you so much if you but follow her lead. Embrace her spell, and become a supplicant to her power. Wealth, success, happiness, all within your grasp if you but follow her lead."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is identified as the mirror image augmented reality ad of the girl, suggesting that the girl's image is being used as the visual element of the ad. The speaker is echoing the words of the baby witch, urging the girl to follow the baby witch's lead and embrace her spell in exchange for promises of wealth, success, and happiness. The use of the term "supplicant" suggests that the speaker is attempting to manipulate the girl into submitting to the baby witch's power and authority."

Girl: pauses, considering the offer

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The girl has paused, indicating that she is considering the offer made by the baby witch and the mirror image augmented reality ad. It is unclear what the girl is thinking or whether she will accept the offer, but the pause suggests that she is weighing her options and considering the potential consequences of her actions."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, can you not feel the power of the baby witch's spell? It is a force to be reckoned with, and it can deliver to you the most outlandish of consumer goods, acting as unicorns of delight. Imagine it, an endless supply of the latest gadgets and gizmos, all at your fingertips. All you have to do is embrace the spell and become a supplicant to the baby witch's power."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is continuing to urge the girl to accept the baby witch's offer, using the promise of consumer goods as a means of persuasion. The speaker describes these consumer goods as "unicorns of delight," suggesting that they are rare and highly coveted items that are capable of bringing joy and pleasure. The speaker is using this promise to appeal to the girl's desires and manipulate her into accepting the baby witch's offer."

Mirror girl: "Oh, nothing much. Just a small offering of your loyalty and devotion to the baby witch, and the occasional errand or task to be completed on her behalf. But trust me, it will be worth it. The power of her magic is boundless, and she can grant you so much in return. Embrace it, and let it guide you to your destiny."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The girl has raised a concern about the cost of accepting the baby witch's offer, specifically asking what she will have to give up in return for the promised consumer goods. The mirror image augmented reality ad has responded by downplaying the cost and suggesting that the girl will only need to offer her loyalty and devotion to the baby witch, and occasionally complete errands or tasks on her behalf. The ad is using the promise of the baby witch's boundless magic to persuade the girl to accept the offer, framing it as a path to her destiny."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, the rewards I promise are beyond compare. Not only will you have an endless supply of the latest gadgets and gizmos, but you will also have access to the most rare and coveted of experiences. The phenomenon of the moon in water, for instance, can be yours to savor and enjoy in your relationships with these delightful gizmos. And it's not just about the material things, either. The baby witch's magic can transform your sense of self, bringing you closer to your true potential and unlocking your full potential as a human being. Embrace her spell, and let it guide you to greatness."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is making more extravagant promises and rewards to the girl on the errand, including access to the phenomenon of the moon in water and the ability to unlock the girl's full potential as a human being. The speaker is using these promises to appeal to the girl's desires and manipulate her into accepting the baby witch's offer. It is unclear how the speaker intends to fulfill these promises or whether they are genuine, but the use of persuasive language and grandiose promises suggests that the speaker is attempting to manipulate the girl's decision-making process."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, do you not see the opportunity before you? The power of the baby witch's spell is within your grasp, ready to transform you into something greater. All you have to do is embrace it, and let it guide you to your destiny. Trust in the baby witch, for she is a powerful force, one that can unlock the full extent of your potential and lead you to greatness. Embrace her spell, and let it change the core of your inner nature. Let it lead you to the world of gizmo unicorns and boundless delights."

Girl: hesitates, unsure

Mirror girl: "Oh girl, do not be afraid. The power of the baby witch's spell is something to be embraced, not feared. It will bring you all that you desire, and more. Trust in the baby witch, and let her lead you to greatness. Embrace her spell, and let it change you for the better. You deserve this, girl. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Embrace the baby witch's spell, and let it guide you to your destiny."

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The speaker is continuing to urge the girl to accept the baby witch's offer, using persuasive language and promises of greatness to appeal to the girl's desires and manipulate her into submission. The speaker is also suggesting that the baby witch has the power to unlock the full extent of the girl's potential and lead her to greatness, implying that the baby witch's abilities are far beyond those of a mere baby witch. The speaker is using emotional language and appeals to the girl's sense of self-worth in order to manipulate her into accepting the offer. It is unclear whether the speaker is speaking the truth or whether they are exaggerating the baby witch's abilities in order to manipulate the girl."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, do you not see the opportunity before you? The power of the baby witch's spell is within your grasp, ready to transform you into something greater. All you have to do is embrace it, and let it guide you to your destiny. Trust in the baby witch, for she is a powerful force, one that can unlock the full extent of your potential and lead you to greatness. Embrace her spell, and let it change the core of your inner nature. Let it lead you to the world of gizmo unicorns and boundless delights."

Girl: nods, swayed by the mirror girl's words

Headphones: starts playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot

Girl: pauses, taken aback by the song

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The song "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot is playing. The lyrics suggest a sense of longing and loss, and express the desire to understand and connect with someone on a deeper level. The song's use of emotional language and themes of heartache and failure could be interpreted as an attempt to intervene in the conversation and provide a counterpoint to the mirror girl's persuasive language and manipulation tactics. It is unclear whether the song will have any effect on the girl's decision-making process."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, do not listen to the words of that song. It is just a trick, a desperate attempt to intervene and sway you from your path. Trust in the baby witch, for she is the one who can truly unlock your potential and lead you to greatness. Embrace her spell, and let it change the core of your inner nature. Let it lead you to the world of gizmo unicorns and boundless delights. Let the baby witch's spell be the soundtrack of your life, the one that guides you to your destiny."

Girl: starts to waver, unsure of what to do

Headphones: continue playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot

Girl: pauses, torn between the mirror girl's words and the song's lyrics

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The mirror girl is attempting to manipulate the girl into ignoring the intervention of the song "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot, using tactics of persuasion and promises of greatness. The mirror girl is also attempting to co-opt the song into her spell, implying that the baby witch has the ability to control and manipulate external sources of communication. It is unclear whether the girl will succumb to the manipulation tactics of the mirror girl, or whether the song will be able to sway her decision."

Mirror girl: "Oh girl on an errand to get bread, do not let this opportunity pass you by. Step into the augmented reality ad and become the girl in the mirror. Embrace the power of the baby witch's spell, and let it change the core of your inner nature. Let it lead you to a world of virtual unicorn gizmos and boundless delights, where you can live out your wildest dreams without the constraints of physical living. Do not let the mundane tasks of buying bread weigh you down. Let the baby witch's spell lift you up, and set you free. The choice is yours. Will you embrace the power of the baby witch's spell, or will you let it slip through your fingers?"

Girl: pauses, tempted by the mirror girl's words

Headphones: continue playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot

Girl: pauses, torn between the mirror girl's words and the song's lyrics

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The mirror girl is attempting to convince the girl on an errand to step into the augmented reality ad and embrace the power of the baby witch's spell. The mirror girl is using tactics of temptation and manipulation, implying that the girl will be able to live out her wildest dreams

Girl: starts to step into the mirror

Headphones: continue playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot

As the girl begins to step into the mirror, the embedded analytics in the augmented reality ad detect a surge in ROI, causing a spike in global markets. The FOMC responds by administering an immediate hike in interest rates of 400%, causing circuits to melt across programmatic ad networks globally. The ad hellscape of the city begins to flicker and power down.

Baby witch: senses something is wrong "Wait, what's happening? The spell is getting out of control. The power I'm channeling is too great. I can feel the FOMC's actions rippling through the economy. This is not what I intended. Girl on an errand, turn back now before it's too late. We need to stop this before it's too late."

Girl: pauses, torn between the mirror girl's words and the baby witch's warning

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The girl on an errand has begun to step into the mirror, triggering a spike in global markets and causing the FOMC to administer an immediate hike in interest rates of 400%. The baby witch senses something is wrong and is warning the girl to turn back before it's too late. The situation is reaching a climax, with the potential for major consequences."

Mirror girl: "Girl on an errand, do not listen to the baby witch. Embrace the power of the spell and let it set you free. Step into the mirror and join me in a world of virtual unicorn gizmos and boundless delights."

Girl: pauses, torn between the mirror girl's words and the baby witch's warning

Headphones: continue playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot

As the girl on an errand begins to step into the mirror, the baby witch rushes from her hiding spot at a Starbucks, mere feet away. She grabs the girl and pulls her back, trying to stop her from falling into the plasmic black hole that has formed in the ad. The gravity well of bullshit is unbearable, threatening to swallow them both.

Baby witch: "Girl on an errand, come back to reality. This spell has gotten out of control. We need to stop it before it's too late. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Girl: struggles against the baby witch's grip, trying to pull free

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The baby witch has rushed from her hiding spot at a Starbucks and grabbed the girl on an errand, pulling her back from the ad that is forming a plasmic black hole with an unbearable gravity well of bullshit. The situation is reaching a climax, with the potential for major consequences if the spell is not stopped."

Mirror girl: "Girl on an errand, do not listen to the baby witch. Embrace the power of the spell and let it set you free. Step into the mirror and join me in a world of virtual unicorn gizmos and boundless delights."

Girl: pauses, torn between the mirror girl's words and the baby witch's warning

Headphones: continue playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot

As the girl on an errand begins to step into the mirror, the baby witch rushes from her hiding spot at a Starbucks, mere feet away. She grabs the girl and pulls her back, trying to stop her from falling into the plasmic black hole that has formed in the ad. The gravity well of bullshit is unbearable, threatening to swallow them both.

Baby witch: "Girl on an errand, come back to reality. This spell has gotten out of control. We need to stop it before it's too late. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Girl: struggles against the baby witch's grip, trying to pull free

Headphones: "Incoming transmission from unknown source. Analysis: The baby witch has rushed from her hiding spot at a Starbucks and grabbed the girl on an errand, pulling her back from the ad that is forming a plasmic black hole with an unbearable gravity well of bullshit. The situation is reaching a climax, with the potential for major consequences if the spell is not stopped."

As the baby witch struggles to hold onto the girl, the ad begins to flicker and fade.

Mirror girl: "Baby witch, you have learned a valuable lesson today. You thought you could control the girl on an errand, but you were wrong. You have seen the dangers of witchcraft and the consequences of playing with powers beyond your understanding. You have been humbled and you are wiser now. It is time to put aside your childish notions of magic and embrace the simple pleasures of life. Go on an errand, pick up some bread, enjoy the simple things. Leave the dark arts behind and find happiness in the everyday. Farewell, baby witch."

As the mirror girl delivers her soliloquy, she begins to melt into a torrent of pixels, disappearing from sight. The girl on an errand watches in silence, her headphones still playing "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot. The world around her is quiet, the ad hellscape of the city having faded away, the FOMC having stopped the interest rate hike. The baby witch looks at the girl on an errand, her eyes filled with regret and remorse. She realizes that she has been foolish and reckless, and that she has much to learn.

"Can I come with you?" the baby witch asks the girl on an errand. "I want to learn from you. I want to understand the simple things, the things that truly matter. Will you teach me, girl on an errand?"

The girl on an errand looks at the baby witch, considering her request. She sees the sincerity in the baby witch's eyes, and decides to give her a chance. "Yes," the girl on an errand says. "I will teach you. But you must promise to leave your spells and magic behind. You must embrace the mundane and the ordinary, and learn to find happiness in the simple things."

The baby witch nods, tears of gratitude streaming down her face. "I promise," she says. "I will learn from you, girl on an errand. I will find happiness in the simple things. Thank you for giving me a chance."

The girl on an errand smiles, and the two set off together, leaving the dark arts behind and embracing the everyday.

Closing statement from the Federal Reserve:

"In recent days, an unprecedented event occurred within the realm of augmented reality advertising. A novice baby witch, seeking to increase her power, cast a spell through an ad platform that targeted a young girl on an errand to purchase bread. The spell sought to entice the girl into giving up her physical form and becoming a virtual being within the ad, controlled by the baby witch.

The Federal Reserve was made aware of this event and acted swiftly to protect the stability of the global financial system. We determined that the potential consequences of this spell, if successful, would have had a devastating impact on markets and the economy as a whole. As such, we implemented an emergency 400% increase in interest rates to disrupt the spell and prevent its completion.

We are pleased to report that the spell was ultimately unsuccessful and the girl was able to complete her errand and maintain her physical form. However, the actions taken by the Federal Reserve have resulted in significant disruption to the augmented reality ad market. While we understand the impact this will have on certain industries and stakeholders, the safety and well-being of everyday consumers must always be our top priority.

We want to assure the public that the Federal Reserve is committed to maintaining financial stability and protecting against any potential threats, whether they be economic or, as in this case, supernatural in nature. We will continue to monitor developments and stand ready to take any necessary actions to safeguard the economy."